The Child Can Teach The Parents

Brat Revelations from the mother land!

So it turns out that there is quite a bit more work to be done in the field of brat awareness! I’m here in Germany and there are so many things that need to be discussed its appalling! first of all these barbarians use forks with there brats! at first I was cringing and throwing up in my mouth a bit at the sight of it. But as I went deeper in to the root of the problem I realized there was no reason to avoid a fork here in Germany. You see, they don’t boil there brats in beer! so the very nature of a bratwurst here is more of a dry larger version of a hot dog! I noticed there were no juices escaping the encasement, and in fact there were no juices to speak of at all.  I’ve made it my personal mission to make the Germans aware of the improvements and technological advances in brats that the Americans have “brat” to the table. You may be unaware of the stereotypes the Americans get dogged with, but here they are. We’re lazy, fat , don’t walk anywhere and always eat fast food as well as being dumb. Its just as well we all have ozzies coming out of our asses and we hide balls of crack cocaine up there too like you see on the popular american show cops. Well I can almost go along with all those stereo types except for two. We’re not dumb! And we don’t just eat fast food! We eat a hell of a lot of brats in the comfort of our backyard, there are no fast food brats yet that I’m aware of. So there! Ill hear this type of horse shit coming from these fucks with an apple iPhone in there pocket I say, ” you ever heard of Microsoft or Apple?” Merican!, “Those are nice jeans you got on there! Merican!” “Why don’t you google it? Merican!” You ever been on Ebay? Merican! But most improtantly I ask, ” have you ever boiled a brat in beer?” They sit there like Mike Tyson just cold cocked em or Patton just marched through the Rhine! They have no idea what I’m talking about… And I say, “now who’s the idiot?!” these primitive people living inside there own self created boxes haven’t even had the fore sight to leave their country let alone put some delicious encased meats in something that fits its so perfectly, Beer! So I digress, Sometimes the parent can learn from the child! In this way the Germans are going to have to face up to the facts that a bratwurst tastes better boiled in beer. Forget the Pabst lets just start with a proof of concept here! The other night I boiled up some fresh brats in some Becks. Seemed like the closest I could get to a Johnsonville bathed in Pabst. No grill available so I had to put em on the stove… I know I know, sacrilege, but sometimes you got to make do! After a little bit the savory smell of boiling beer mixed with pork products started to waft through the air. My girlfriends eyes lit up at the smell! wala, my first experience teaching the parent a few tricks from the hood! We had a travesty of a vegan chili given to us from a friend we were reheating. I knew just what to do… I added brats to the vegan chili, ahhh and all was right in the world! I served up the brats side by side with the newly remodeled vegan chili. Simone my Bavarian Princess went straight for the brat! My love for her grows every time I see her put a brat in between those luscious German lips! her reaction was priceless! She got the squirt, I think it was her first beer brat juice squirt! she looked pleased, real pleased! I knew then I had her, she just went off the deep end and her mind expanded further than any man had taken her before. You could see her instinctive brain start wondering what other wonders of the world I had up my sleeve,.. Oh yeah who’s your daddy? So it was this experience I witnessed that would change the course of my own as well as European history for ever. My mission has changed from a mere educational bratanage to a new duty and vision all together. I Steven Walicki, Founder of Bratawareness have now pledged all my earthly belongings to the greatest mission of my life! I shall educate Europe the miracle of the beer boil! I shall return in 20 years to reap the glory of my effects on this planet. Every man that reaches a certain point of wisdom starts to put his efforts in to his legacy. Will I be remembered, will my name ring through the ages, will my face be engraved in precious metals and stone, will my life have a greater meaning? It is my life’s mission to challenge the status quo, to change the way brats are cooked and consumed, And through this, open the minds of millions of Europeans to the simple fact, they’ve been eating brats wrong for nearly a thousand years! Now who’s the idiot?